Kristine had asked about a picture the other day, so we are obliging. Here’s the most devoted four-legged Cubs fan, Peanut. When I arrived over at Mark’s last night, he had her all dressed up in her Cubs outfit and the game was on. We won’t talk about the game, because the Cubs were not cooperating in my pursuit to The Bonus Round, and they know how important it is for me to get there. The nerve!

I had gone over to pick up all of Peanut’s things, because she is going to be staying with Bri and me for the next couple of weeks while Mark is visiting back home. We are also on cat duty, but since Kitty WILL NOT have cats in the house, I will just be going over there every day to check on them and make sure the food and water bowls are full. One day soon, Sue, you are going to have to share your secrets on getting all those cats and dogs to get along without eating each other.

Peanut is a 16-year-old Jack Russell mix, and she is the sweetest thing. She always liked me, but for the past four or five days, she has really bonded with me and has been very affectionate. She follows me around, lays on me, and just likes to be close. By the time Mark returns from his trip, it is my goal to have all three pets eating out of the palm of my hand. Bri is really looking forward to taking care of the animals, and having two dogs in the house. She is also thrilled that Mark has left his Playstation 3 out for her to indulge in. We are headed to Blockbuster tomorrow to rent her a couple of games. No Squishy Game for her.

Count on some blog entries about his pets over the next couple of weeks. Besides the fact that they are so cute, it will also be a good way for him to check in on them and make sure that they are being well-cared for. I found out that Peanut has never had a proper manicure with painted toes. That’s one of the first things we plan to correct. So, welcome her to the blog. Cats are next!

Oh yeah, guys, I’m gonna talk about IT. So, if you are squeamish about such things, you should just hit the “Back” button now. This one is for my girls, and if you are a man and are still reading, then we all appreciate that you have stuck around long enough to understand the demystification of the dreaded monthly curse that all women experience.

Basically, most of us fall into the following categories:

1) PMS occurs about a week before, and you are just emotionally heightened and sensitive. Maybe a little crabby.
2) Rather than before, your days of irritability follow the event.
3) You have no symptoms and there is nothing troublesome for you (less than 1% guys, sorry).
4) Everyone swears you are on it for 21 days, and there is only one week that you are pleasant.

Myself, I fall into category #1, but those five or six days end with a bang. There is one day a month (full 24-hours, sometimes 36), that I am ALWAYS RIGHT, NO MATTER WHAT I SAY. Like a cobra ready to strike at some unknowing victim, I lie in wait this entire day, just dying to see who has decided to become my prey. In other words, APPROACH CONFLICT WITH EXTREME CAUTION. As long as your behavior falls within these parameters, everything should be fine and you will make it through unscathed.

I recognize that I have this problem, and I am fair about it. I always warn men I become involved with from the onset, that one day a month I am just RIGHT and I have huge potential to become Sybil. I tell them they shouldn’t feel so bad about giving me this one day of autonomy, because they still have a shot of being right the other 29 days. Some of them think I am joking or am less than serious, and mistakenly decide to test the waters. It’s the kind of thing you only do once, unless you are particularly stubborn (KM), and then you might try twice. I’ve never known anyone to do it a third time, which gives you some idea of how ugly it can get. Some of my close male friends, who enjoy none of my “benefits,” even have it marked on their calendars, lest they step into my line of fire.

Why am I telling you this? Maybe in an effort to help the male population understand that the hormone thing is not B.S. and we really have ZERO control over their effects on our demeanor. We do not just suddenly wake up one morning and say, “Today, I think I will lose my mind.” Really, we don’t. The very worst thing you can do as a man, is ask about IT, especially if the tone is condescending in any way. You know, like if we are having a fight or we just seem irritable, and you counter with a question referencing us and IT. This could lead to serious consequences on your home life and physical well-being. Bringing IT up, just says that whatever we just said has no merit and no part of it can be considered rational/serious. Discount a woman’s expression in this manner, and YOU DESERVE WHAT YOU GET. YOU are not allowed to talk about IT, unless we ask you to. This usually only occurs when we want sympathy or TLC. Also, don’t ever ask if you can just go somewhere to avoid us during that time, this is a moment for empathy, not escape.

For those men wondering, no, I am not crazy yet this month. I recently had to have the talk, GonZo reminded me of an upcoming recurring event in his Outlook, and I’ve been meaning to blog about it, but I’ve been a little busy. Now seemed like a good time for it. Girls, if you are comfortable elaborating or sharing which group you fall into, feel free. The guys? Well, you should probably approach the topic with some wariness, but think of this as a “free zone” to research.

Oh, and don’t forget, a little bit of tolerance and understanding on on your part during a couple of miserable days every month, comes with huge rewards during the rest of it. All of the women reading this, may feel free to adopt my “Always Right” rule. Even the long-term ones can be trained.

I live in the desert. It’s supposed to be ultra hot in the summer, and really cold in the winters. Above all, being arid is the definition of desert. I do love the rain, and the rare moments that we see it here, is always welcomed. However, humidity is not allowed when it is super hot outside.

July is the hottest month in this hellish environment. We can see temperatures in the neighborhood of 115-125 degrees. This lasts for approximately four to six weeks into August, and it sucks. Locals do not venture outside, and our power bills range from $350 (small house) to $600 (anything from 2,500-3,000 SF) a month, from the air conditioning. We are literally being raped by Nevada Power.

The other unfortunate part of July is the monsoon season. From this phrase, you would infer that I am getting the rain I love so much, but we’re not. Sure, there may be a five minute sprinkle every other day, but that’s it. It is almost guaranteed to occur within ten minutes after I wash my car. What we do get is humidity, and when you combine it with this heat, it obliterates that dry heat argument that people always throw out about living in the desert. The monsoons actually occur in Arizona, but the moisture rises to the north and looms over Las Vegas.

Pick one. Hot or moist. Not both. Not ever.

I sure hope this clears up before Defcon.